Irresistible You AudioBook and Ebook.
I explained that some people are born with this ability. Perhaps you are acquainted with someone. Personally, I have a friend from university who was equally wacky as I was during those years. That is to say, he spent an inordinate amount of time watching YouTube in the evenings, was not especially ‘cool’ in the traditional sense, and was not particularly successful on his course. To summarize, he was a typical man.
Despite the fact that he was not near the top of his class, he was offered the placement job that everyone on his course desired. This was entirely due to the manner in which he interviewed. When he graduated from university, he began working with Simon Cowell but soon realized he was no longer interested in that vocation. As a result, he took an entirely new path and changed careers within months, earning a six-figure salary. He recently took a year-long sabbatical, and his employer was more than delighted to compensate him for his absence. He is constantly offered possibilities for growth, women adore him, and he was recently offered a slot on a large YouTube channel.
So how did all of this wonderful stuff happen to him? Simply put, he is extremely personable, charming, and beautiful in a captivating way. He simply has that X element, which attracts people to work with him, despite the fact that if you met him at university, you’d know he’s a regular guy.
Therefore, where does anything like this originate?
To be honest, everything boils down to our evolutionary history. Our evolution dictated the formation of our hormones and emotions, which serve a single fundamental purpose: to secure our survival and that of our progeny. That is why we are driven to locate food, why we seek mates who appear to offer good genetic material, and why we admire resourceful people.
Something very similar occurs while picking who to associate with. Often, we associate with individuals because we believe they can assist us in surviving. Someone who is self-assured will appear to have a better social status (even if this is not the case), and hence spending time with them may help us raise our own social status. Someone who appears to be knowledgeable in their field may be able to assist us in gaining access to foods or potential mates.
This is a significant reason why we attract toward certain people and not others: they send a message that they are highly capable and a good genetic ‘choice’.
The Life-Size Game
This is an idea recognized by pickup artists some time ago. They recognized that women dislike men who adore them or who constantly shower them with compliments because they provide no challenge. If you’re an enamored friend who has been friendzoned and you spend a lot of time consoling her and telling her she’s gorgeous, you’re going to come across as needy and desperate. And inadvertently, this communicates to her that you believe she is out of your league. And if she is out of your league, what can you offer her or her DNA?
Meanwhile, the ‘jerks’ are more detached and uncaring, which adds to their attractiveness. It’s the age-old adage that you want what you can’t have, but with an evolutionary twist.
Thus, pickup artists employed this ‘negging’ approach, among others, to slowly weaken a woman’s confidence and thus appear attractive. Another strategy is peacocking, in which they will wear something ridiculous to a loud and colorful bar in the belief that ladies will believe he must be extremely confident or successful… otherwise, how would he be so bald as to wear anything ridiculous?
However, these approaches are really cynical and absurd. And the good news is that you don’t have to be a complete jerk to get the female.
Similarly, the notion that girls must transform themselves into Barbies in order to be attractive is incorrect. As is the notion that you must be ruthless in order to succeed in business…
Creating an Exceptional First Impression
All of these ‘good guys’ who attribute their niceness to their lack of female companionship are likely missing the point that they might be nice, fun, and confident. Almost certainly, it is not their niceness that is the issue!
Similarly, Derren Brown feels that the single most important thing you can do to gain friends and influence others is to simply be a decent person. Do good deeds and communicate with others, and they will want to spend time with you! There is no hidden secret about it.
However, such niceness must be accompanied by confidence.
To explain how this might work, consider a much more effective pickup method for increasing your attractiveness and magneticity. Take note that a similar strategy works equally well for women, and we’ll see how this pertains to business in a moment.
Rather than peacocking and negging, head to a pub and simply smile at someone you admire. This is already a wise tactic, as if the other person is at all interested, they will typically reciprocate with a smile. If they avert their gaze, you know to move on.
If that person then smiles at you and appears interested, you approach them but do not corner them as is customary. Rather than that, you converse with them and inquire about their names before introducing yourself to the rest of the group. This immediately establishes you as a person who is outgoing, pleasant, and self-assured. You’ve shown that you can get along with her pals and that you’re popular with them.
You can remain cheeky and edgy if that is your style, but the idea is to have fun and chat to everyone – not just the person you came to see.
This helps you appear attentive and considerate, and you cease to appear motivated by a single objective. Additionally, it will cause that first individual to wonder if you’re truly interested in them or their buddies. And this may foster a competitive attitude among them. Having fun with everyone helps you appear in demand, which increases your social and evolutionary attractiveness.
When the time is right, however, you can ask the person you’re interested in whether they’d like a drink. If they answer yes, you can invite them to join you in the bar and proceed from there. Consider this one; it is quite effective.
Thus, you are still being pleasant; you are simply being extremely confident and popular while doing so. You have all the coolness of the jerks, but you can get along with their friends and be introduced to their parents – and that is exactly what ladies want.
The same is true for women: you do not have to be a scholarly librarian or a Barbie doll to be successful. If you possess intelligence and sweetness, but also know how to dress well and aren’t afraid to be a little flirty, any male will appreciate that combination. The clothing here are not just about showcasing your best qualities; they’re also about showcasing your confidence – your willingness to take risks.